LETTERS FROM DADA LAND: Smile Mask Syndrome

Dear Susan,

We wanted to bring to your attention a matter of great concern effecting your employees.
As The New York Times recently reported, Smile Mask Syndrome is a serious psychological disorder in which subjects develop depression and physical illness as a result of prolonged unnatural smiling. This is most commonly found in individuals working in the service and retail industry.

As Director of HR we assume you would want to prevent any such disorders affecting your employees.

We think you will be interested to hear that we produce the world’s only medically certified smile replacement mask. We have used them at our gatherings so people can’t be sad.

Additionally Dr. Senut Gib of Uppsala University recently published a paper in the Journal of Scientific and Industrial Research showing how our product reduced Smile Mask Syndrome by up to 48.4%.

As per your website the Mall of America has over 10,000 year-round staff, and we believe in our product so much that we have arranged for 10,000 of our Smile Masks to be shipped to your office free of charge. If you don’t see a reduction in Smile Mask Syndrome then you can return the masks to us free of charge at the enclosed address.

NEW AUDIO PLUGIN “ENDLESS SMILE” IS OUT NOW

Finally! We made another plugin! It’s called Endless Smile. This plugin creates all the tension you need in your music. With our first plugin “Sausage Fattener” we created a simple way of getting our fat signature sound. But it’s not all about the drop – you need buildups too. With “Endless Smile” it’s easier than ever to create music that lifts you to space with a smile that just gets bigger and bigger
and bigger.

BUY IT HERE

Endless Smile is already being used by Steve Angello, Zedd, Tritonal, Axwell, Deniz Koyu, Hardwell, Thomas Gold, Diplo, Chris Lake, Above & Beyond, Blasterjaxx, GTA, Bassjackers, TJR, Bingo Players, Tommy Trash and many other DJ/producers.